A panel of one league official has named the coaches for All-Star Game 13, which will be held Dec. 4-5 in Zurich, Switzerland.

Milan Guerriero defenseman Jonas Siegenthaler was born in Zurich a little more than 24 years ago and has played in the NHL for Washington and New Jersey. He has been named as the Southern Conference coach.

“Yes, it’s odd that we have selected an active player to coach this game, but it’s being held in his city. That’s going to be a thrill for Siegenthaler. Let’s face it, he’s never going to the all-star game for his playing ability,” explained Sepp Blatter, the league director of player safety and discipline. “Plus, his poor father just got almost 5,000 francs poorer. Have a heart people.”

Coaching the Northern Conference will be another Zurich native and someone who’s a better skater than anyone on the team, even at age 58: Denise Biellmann, the figure skater and originator of the Biellmann Spin. She will be favored to emerge with the coaching win because she will have the conference that has won 8 of 11 all-star games and currently 8 of the top 11 teams in the Season 13 standings.