GM: Guybrush Threepwood
Coach: Adam Oates
Last season: 16th overall. Did not make playoffs.
Ins and Outs
(Season 18 to Season 19)
In: Erik Forssell (free agent), Ethan Bear (trade), Anthony Mantha (free agent), Emmitt Finnie (draft), Brandon Carlo (free agent), Easton Cowan (draft)
Out: Vadim Shipachyov (free agent), Anthony Duclair (free agent), Jan Kovar (free agent), Justin Faulk (free agent), Dalibor Dvorsky (trade), Jonas Brodin (waivers), Lawson Crouse (free agent), Christoph Korner (free agent), Matthew Kessel (free agent)
Potential Lineup
Alexander Aitken/Sergei Mozyakin/Brendan Gallagher
Jake Virtanen/Erik Forssell/Anthony Mantha
Emmitt Finnie/Elias Lindholm/Cole Perfetti
Easton Cowan/Will Smith/Luke Evangelista
Ethan Bear/Jake Sanderson
Brandon Carlo/Bowen Byram
Moritz Wirth/Rasmus Ristolainen
Joel Hofer/Joonas Korpisalo
A Question
What has changed this year in Berlin? Even though Berlin fans are still focused on the unbelievable truth that the Smurfs failed to make the playoffs last year and they really don’t want to talk about it, we will. In fact, we’re happy to. If you recall, the Berlin clubhouse was a complete mess as last season was about to begin. Cheerleaders were putting on sweatshirts. Drug dealers were walking by the front entrance without even slowing down. You could tell Season 18 was going to be a down year. But 16th place? Talk about a shock to the system. So is that dark period over for Berlin fans? Are the Smurfs ready to guzzle their Smurfberry Juice and settle in for some real hockey this season? Hah! Very funny. Even General Manager Guybrush Threepwood seems to know Season 19 is going to be another season of bitterness and disharmony. Well, wait a minute, those words were used to describe the Berlin team when they were winning all the time. Instead, let’s say it will be a year of finger-pointing and scowling. Nope. They’ve been doing that for years too. Well, anyway, they aren’t going to challenge for the Cup, let’s put it that way. We think. Threepwood prevented a total revolt by the fans by resigning the greatest player to ever glide on an ice surface. Erik Forssell is back in powder blue and the world – not just Germany – is glad to see it. This season he will probably get more than 15 minutes per game centering the second line between Elias Lindholm and Anthony Mantha … unless he gets bumped up to the top line in place of aging Sergei Mozyakin. The Russian is an old 36 while Forssell is a young 34. He does all the little things right: he backchecks, gets into passing lanes, passes well, skates hard, goes to bed late, wakes up late, winks at older fans, smiles at younger fans and buys alcohol for underage fans … and the cheerleaders all love him. He’s – in essence – the Perfect Smurf. It’s hard to believe the league played five seasons before Forssell even got into a game, and it’s hard to believe his first 9 seasons with Berlin weren’t about 35 years, but you can look it up if you think we’re lying. Those are facts. Berlin will try to be a spoiler come playoff time and maybe upset a big team or two. But regardless of what happens, the fans are getting happy again.
Rose’s Focus
“When I look at the Smurfs this season and I envision Alexander Aitken, Brendan Gallagher and Sergei Mozyakin, playing their little hearts out on the team’s top forward line, I kind of feel like I used to when I was a girl working on my Uncle Stash’s beef cattle farm. Some of those cows were gone the next time I got to the farm. What happened to them, I used to wonder. Now I know they were murdered, chopped into pieces and their body parts were sold to food processing plants and garment makers. I really hope the same doesn’t happen to Alex, Brendan and Sergei. I certainly don’t want to eat a Gallaburger or wear a pair of fashionable shoes made of Mozyakin’s skin. Each of those guys scored between 58 and 71 points for the team last year, but they are aging and they’ll be lucky to hit those numbers this season. It’s obvious to me none of them is part of the Smurfs’ long-term plan. You see, I have what’s called forethought and intelligence and I choose to look at what this team is building for the future. Look at the young guys in their lineup today. It looks like Luke Evangelista, Easton Cowan, Cole Perfetti, Will Smith and Emmitt Finnie – all 24 or younger – will be getting major experience points this year. Bowen Byram and Jake Sanderson are 25 and 24, respectively, they have another 82-game season in store for them and Joel Hofer, 25, will face a barrage of shots again in the Smurfs goal. The youth movement is in full swing and I agree with what Berlin General Manager Guybrush Threepwood is doing. (I can’t believe I just said that.)”
