GM: Guybrush Threepwood
Coach: Adam Oates
Last season: 8th overall. In playoffs, defeated Lisbon; defeated Bratislava; defeated Munich; lost to Helsinki
Ins and Outs
(Season 17 to Season 18)
In: Alexander Aitken (free agent), Joel Hofer (trade), Brendan Gallagher (free agent), Joonas Korpisalo (free agent), Sergei Mozyakin (free agent), Rasmus Ristolainen (free agent), Elias Lindholm (waivers), Bowen Byram (trade), Cole Perfetti (trade), Will Smith (trade), Anthony Duclair (free agent)
Out: Ryan Nugent-Hopkins (free agent), Staffan Kronwall (trade), Calvin Pickard (trade), Filip Hronek (trade), Gabriel Landeskog (trade), Loic Lamperier (free agent), Sean Couturier (free agent), Roger Karrer (trade), Ilya Samsonov (trade), Tomas Jurco (free agent), Brandon Saad (free agent), Vladimir Tarasenko (free agent)
Potential Lineup
Alexander Aitken/Sergei Mozyakin/Vadim Shipachyov
Anthony Duclair/Jan Kovar/Brendan Gallagher
Lawson Crouse/Andrey Bykov/Jake Virtanen
Cole Perfetti/Will Smith/Luke Evagelista
Rasmus Ristolainen/Jake Sanderson
Justin Faulk/Bowen Byram
Moritz Wirth/Jonas Brodin
Joel Hofer/Joonas Korpisalo
A Question
Was that the end of an era in Berlin? For sure it was. A massive makeover – probably the most massive in team history – was in store for Berlin once Season 17 ended. It was a good year for the Smurfs who kind of played possum during the regular season before surging through the Southern Conference playoffs en route to a Finals loss to Helsinki. But once the off season started, the Smurfs were down nine veteran forwards, including longtime star Ryan Nugent-Hopkins who wanted to explore new horizons. It wasn’t just on the forward lines where longtime Berlin faces became the backs of heads. Nine of the Smurfs’ top 12 scorers and both their goalies are now somewhere else. In a couple of trades that included the exits of defensemen Staffan Kronwall and Filip Hronek, Berlin picked up four strong future assets including goalie Joel Hofer, defenseman Bowen Byram and forwards Will Smith and Cole Perfetti. With Jake Sanderson and Luke Evaneglista already in powder blue, that’s a nice nucleus for a rebuild. Money also bought them talent in Alexander Aitken, the most sought-after free agent on the market this off season. It was good the Smurfs got Hofer, because Berlin also had a wholesale change in goal between seasons. Calvin Pickard’s negotiating rights were traded to Kosice, where he saw cheerleaders he liked and signed a long-term deal. The goalie whose rights they got in return – Igor Shesterkin – said no thanks to GM Guybrush Threepwood’s alcohol breath-ladened offer and Ilya Samsonov, who started 60 games for the Smurfs, was traded to Prague. How all the new faces in Berlin will work together is anyone’s guess. They have less experience and perhaps less skill than they had last season, so don’t be surprised if more changes are made in the next few months.
Rose’s Focus
“Well, now we know a lot more about free agent signing Alexander Aitken, the mysterious forward who burst onto the scene in Season 17, scored 83 points, and then abruptly turned his back on longtime buddy Martin Sayle in Copenhagen, deciding to cozy up with Berlin GM Guybrush Threepwood instead. Aitken is apparently not a big fan of hard work. His practices in Berlin will be easy in comparison to the ones he endured last season with the hard-working and dedicated Tridents. But Threepwood’s club is now a shell of its former self. Lots and lots of fun guys just left town through free agency and trades. A dozen of them. Fans were left dazed and confused, wondering if their team would now become boring like Minsk and Helsinki. For a while, I too was sad. It reminded of how I felt when Laurel and Hardy stopped performing, and then when the Marx Brothers stopped making their moving pictures. And more recently when Key and Peele abruptly stopped their joint career. It was suddenly hard to laugh. All there was left for entertainment in that part of Germany was “The Housewives of East Berlin” and Instagram videos of Jake Sanderson riding the exercise bike every other hour. At one of the Smurfs’ off season parties, no windows were broken and a young player cleaned the floor after he dropped a carrot juice smoothie. That never would have happened when Staffan Kronwall was in town. But in a stroke of evil genius, Threepwood came up with a solution. A costly one, but a solution nonetheless. He paid $10.3 million to get Anthony Duclair to leave Minsk and join the club. That immediately caused team dissension and an old-fashioned Berlin Smurfs mutiny with the team dividing into several factions. Cheerleaders sprung into double duty action, hopping from faction to faction. The hot tub faction is now gaining power and the hope is the Smurfs will get Sanderson off the bike and into the bar. If that happens, Berlin might be Berlin again for another season.”
