GM: Guybrush Threepwood
Coach: Adam Oates
Last season: 6th overall. In playoffs, defeated Munich; defeated Bern; defeated Paris; lost to Helsinki
Ins and Outs
(Season 15 to Season 16)
In: Gabriel Landeskog (free agent), Justin Faulk (free agent), John Tavares (free agent), Jan Kovar (free agent), Christoph Korner (free agent), Dan Vladar (free agent), Nick Blankenburg (free agent)
Out: Aleksander Barkov (free agent), Ryan Strome (free agent), Kris Letang (free agent), Jonas Johansson (free agent), Philip Larsen (free agent), Carl Dahlstrom (free agent),
Potential Lineup
Gabriel Landeskog/Ryan Nugent-Hopkins/Vadim Shipachyov
Artturi Lehkonen/John Tavares/Tyler Toffoli
Loic Lamperier/Sean Couturier/Jan Kovar
Jake Virtanen/Ryan Hartman/Travis Konecny
Staffan Kronwall/Filip Hronek
Justin Faulk/Roger Karrer
Jake Sanderson/Christoph Korner
Calvin Pickard/Dan Vladar
A Question
Once again, Berlin has found experienced free agent talent to plug any holes in its powerhouse lineup. You can’t get any bigger names than John Tavares, the league’s all-time leading scorer, or Gabriel Landeskog, the first overall draft pick in the league’s initial draft. Add five-time all-star Justin Faulk and Jan Kovar, who returns to the Smurfs after two seasons in Madrid and Minsk, and it appears GM Guybrush Threepwood has done well in replacing departed Aleksander Barkov, Ryan Strome and Kris Letang. Berlin fans are used to racing to the top of the Southern Conference standings and getting to the Cup Finals, where they have a 2-5 record. This is probably Tavares’ best chance to lift the Cup for the first time. On a line with Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Vadim Shipachyov, Landeskog and his buddies should be near the top of the individual scoring race all season long. Faulk has lifted the EURO Cup four times with Belfast. He is 34 now and is he slowing down? Umm, no. Before last season, Faulk’s all-time high in points for a season was 53. With the Giants in Season 15, he beat that total just in assists (56) without even having to add his 13 goals. Coach Adam Oates has given indications he will throttle down Faulk and play him on the second pair with 26-year-old Swiss blueliner Roger Karrer, while ageless Staffan Kronwall, 32, will play top-pair minutes with 27-year-old Filip Hronek. Now 15 seasons into his EURO career – the last 9 with Berlin – Kronwall’s attributes have somehow avoided degradation. He is still an energetic, fast, hard-hitting, smart defenseman who any club would play as many minutes as possible. It looks like he could play into his 40s. It is said Kronwall never does extra conditioning and chooses to spend his free time doing all the things you would yell at your children for doing. It’s the Smurf Way.
Rose’s Focus
“Last year in this space, I offered Berlin a little advice on what to do with its forward lines. Smurf GM Guybrush Threepwood ignored my advice. He was too busy getting drunk and high, and looking at cheerleaders to look at me and guess what? The Smurfs didn’t win the Cup. Gee, who could have guessed that was going to happen? So, since Threepmoron never does what I suggest, and because I like Berlin’s fans, I will suggest something now … and he will obviously do the opposite. It’s something I think I will call reverse psychology and you are welcome in advance, Smurf fans. First off, drunken GM, break up the line of Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Vadim Shipachyov and Gabriel Landeskog. There are a total of 48 letters and a hyphen in those names. Even today’s modern jerseys can’t support weight like that. They won’t be able to keep up with a line with shorter names, like Eichel, Ehlers and Eberle for example. Use your head. Jack Drury (only 9 letters) had a 50 percent shooting percentage and he won 60 percent of his face-offs last season. Is there any reason not to play him instead of Nugent-Hopkins on the top line? Plus, Drury has never scored a powerplay goal, so he’s due for a big year. Get him on that top unit right from the start of the season. And don’t play P.K. Subban. Oh, I see you already tried to waive him. Good. What you don’t want is the guy who last year was second on the team in plus/minus and who led your team in blocked shots – by a lot – out there. Good decision. “
