VIENNA, Austria – Dublin General Manager Gayle Rock apparently has a lot of money (wonder if Randy knows) because yesterday, she stepped out of an emerald green limousine that parked in front of the league office. Her driver opened the door and she got out wearing sunglasses to be greeted at the entrance by Sepp Blatter, the EURO League’s Director of Discipline and Player Safety, who must have been expecting her.
League accountant/secretary Rose, who was working at her desk at the time, noticed that Dublin Fighting Irish forward Brad Marchand also exited the car and approached Blatter, whose hand was extended for a handshake.
“Marchand didn’t shake his hand but instead … I swear I saw Marchand lick Blatter’s cheek, but maybe my old eyes were playing tricks on me. That would be absurd,” Rose said. “But a little while later, I definitely heard Rock reprimand Marchand, saying “Just shut up and let me do the talking.”
The three entered Blatter’s office, Rock carrying a purse adorned with jewels, and they closed the door.
After about 45 minutes they walked out of the office. Blatter handed Rose a letter he had drafted and said “I might be back later. I’m walking down to the bank.”
Rose gave the letter to Commissioner Chuck Massaro, who issued the following press release:
“After a thorough review of an incident that occurred in the recent Dublin-London game that included a match penalty to Brad Marchand of the Fighting Irish, it has been decided he will not be suspended.
It is true that Marchand’s actions were intentional and resulted in an injury to London’s Luca Sbisa, but Sepp Blatter said Marchand has shown great remorse and even introduced a new gesture that players can make during games that should bring them closer to each other as people.
Blatter wants players who confront each other in tense situations to resist violent intentions and to instead show love by licking each other’s faces on the ice.
‘Brad demonstrated the technique to me in the office and I felt warmth inside immediately. It was quite soothing,’ Blatter said.
With the league’s new ‘Lick, Don’t Punch’ initiative, players and general managers who take part will be shown more leniency in future disciplinary decisions.
In Marchand’s case, he will be required to play the next three games on the fourth line and will not be permitted to participate on the powerplay or short handed units unless the Websim program automatically inserts him onto such units. The fact Marchand is on a no-trade contract and cannot be moved to the Dublin farm club in Amsterdam was not a consideration in Blatter’s decision. Nor was the fact that promoting a farm club player to the pro team would have placed Dublin over the salary cap and resulted in a blocked simulation of all games.”
