Team owners – A History

Note: I thought the message thread was so good, I just copied it and pasted it here.

A Minor Thing – Owners names

This is another layer of ridiculous imaginary realism (I might seek a trademark on that phrase) I would like to add. You know that mean owner of yours who’s picture comes up on your budget pages? What’s his or her name and profession? If you don’t make one up, I might make one up for you in a future blog story.

Here’s mine:

Bratislava owner – Yurchik Dluhy, CEO, Cestné a Stavebné Mechanizmy Tisovec (a military equipment manufacturer in Detva, Slovakia.) The guy is fictional but Dluhy is actually my wife’s maiden name.

Paris owner- Sophia Rousseau, CEO, ELITE Models (Top Model agency in Paris)

Everything is fictional other than the quest to find her 🙂

Well…I lied…ELITE Models is a Model Agency in Paris…please do not ask how I know that 🙂

8/1/2017 3:52:16 PM

SAINT-PETERSBURG – BEN STULLER

heh, nice idea Chuck.
I believe no one in Slovakia is called Yurchik. More accurate would be Juraj.
Unless that guy’s from Russia or Ukraine?As for the company, mr Dluhy might have to sell his club very soon.
The company generated -4,378 mil. € loss last year!
https://www.finstat.sk/31561888
Not sure how they can afford to pay Toews & the others… 😛

btw: “dluhy” means “debts” in czech, in slovak it is “dlhy” but lot of people still have czech names
“dlhý” means “long” in slovak, in czech “dlouhý” which is more common surname

Gothenburg owner – Bogdan Podarok, Entrepeneur. Podarok played 2 seasons in the KHL and 6 seasons in the Victory Hockey League and was an all-star, but injuries ruined his career. He was responsible with his money, saved almost all of his contract money, and invested tons of money into Amazon, which yielded quite a large return. After the team fell into serious trouble when they placed 17th in Season 5, after the “win now” mode in Season 4 fell very short and left the team without a lot of assets, the team was put up for sale. Podarok for 212 million, and in just 2 seasons the team value has already rose to over 400M. Podarok is an owner who cares about the fans first. He plays favorites with his players, and anyone that gets on his bad side is sure to be on their way out soon. He also hates the media, because who doesn’t?

Trident owner is Tommy Ahlers, founder & CEO of ZYB, a popular social media & networking site in Denmark. Recently he launched an app allowing Trident fans the opportunity to swipe ‘Hot or Not’ for each of the players on the team. According to early results JG Pageau and Jonathan Drouin are the hottest, while Auston Matthews & Ian White are not. Hopefully this doesn’t affect the confidence and play on the ice for the young Matthews.

Can you imagine the fact, that someone will research those real people and find them the owners of Hockey Clubs. Lol.

Would be great if their ownership ended up on Wikipedia!

The Belfast City Bruins owners are two of Northern Ireland’s most famous sons – actor James (Jimmy) Nesbitt (probably best known internationally for his part as one of the dwarves in the Hobbit trilogy); and model/actor/’GLAMOUR sexiest man of 2017′ Jamie Dornan of ‘Fifty Shades’ fame. When they are not questing after CGI dragons or indulging in a spot of on-screen BDSM, the pair enjoy a wee pint or two from their corporate box at the Dundonald Ice Bowl while watching their Giants affiliate battle for the Irish Ice Hockey League title.

Lisbon Hockey Club – Team Owner and Head Cheerleader – Sara Sampaio – Portuguese Super Model

When the opportunity presented itself to own a team of cheerleaders Sara took her Victoria Secret Money and said yes to the purchase the and relocation of a hockey club and moved the team from Frankfurt to Lisbon. Although Sara had zero interest in hockey the chance of filling an arena with men to make money was a deal she could not say no to. Sara hired Bryan to run the hockey operation so she can focus on building one of the top cheer leading teams in EURO. This season she is recruiting some of her friends to help with the tasks of being one of the premier cheerleading teams in the league once again.

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The Athens Gods are owned by Jim Balsillie. After repeated attempts to buy an NHL franchise, Jim settled for one of Euro’s most prestigious teams. The concept of watching elite level hockey in the Mediterranean while escaping from Ontario winters was enough to persuade him to acquire the franchise. He picked them up for an incredible deal while Greece was still reeling from their financial crisis, and insulted the nation by changing their patriotic Greeks to the arrogant Gods. But Greece will have the last laugh, with a clause hidden in the contract forbidding them from relocating to Hamilton. The clause states the entire EU will declare war on Canada the minute the puck drops for any home game in Southern Ontario.

What a great message thread! Ben, Dluhy just officially changed his first name to Juraj, thanks to your reearch, but Dluhy stays or my wife will disown me. And his company’s financial problems help explain why our team totally blew the salary cap this year.

Martin, I loved your Wikipedia comment. If that happens, I hope Rose the league secretary/accountant gets a Wikipedia page too.

8/1/2017 11:34:30 PM

LONDON – MIKE SUK – SLUGGO

Montgomery Burns
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8/2/2017 12:42:40 AM

BERN – PAJA JANSSON

Bern Interrail is obviously owned by the Swiss Federal Railways, or SBB as we call them (Schweizerische Bundesbahnen).

For a more background info: The famous “Swiss Federal Railways clock”, was designed by Hans Hilfiker in 1944 and has become a national icon for us. It is special in that it stops for just over a second at the end of each minute, to wait for a signal from the master clock which sets it going again — thus keeping all station clocks synchronized.

In 2012, It was reported that the design of this clock had been copied without prior permission by Apple Inc. and used in their clock application on Apple devices. The issue was settled with Apple paying the Swiss Federal Railway service about $22.4M for its design. The money was then used to buy a hockey team in new league, EURO. Which was set to start in 2013.

Owned by a company, but if we were to blame anyone for a tight salary budget, not riding 1st class on our away games or something. It’s the CEO Andreas Meyer.

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8/2/2017 5:45:33 AM

SAINT-PETERSBURG – BEN STULLER

Our owner is the former director of JSC Proletarsky Zavod – Sergei Smirnov.
He’s obsessed about returning to the playoffs and refuses any talks about a proper rebuild.
He’s even threatened to send my family to Sibir if we ever start tanking for better trade picks.
His dream is to build all Russian players team and to win the Euro cup with it.
But after missing last season’s playoffs by just 2 points, he refused to overpay any of the veterans (including Kovalchuk) and we had to let them go.The company is building ships & submarines, but is facing problems related to the industrial chain.
Maybe that’s why we’ve only got 4.25mil hockey budget this year.

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Neil Patrick Harris loves everything that is connected to Smurfs.

He owns one of the largest collection of Smurf stuff starting with Smurf dishes, Smurf washing powder, Smurf corkscrew, Smurf underpants and Smurf windscreen wipers. After playing in all important Smurf movies of the last years without taking any salary he decided to buy the last important Smurf thing he is still missing – a Smurf hockey team. So he came to Germany, paid the insanely high taxes and painted the whole hockey hall in a deep strong blue.

He has no idea about the hockey rules (I mean, he is from Albuquerque, New Mexico), but he loves the performance of the Smurf mascots between intermissions. There a rumors that he loves the Smurfs especially for their unusual man to woman ratio (100 to 1), but at least he doesn’t interfere in the important GM stuff.

So, as an owner, he has an laid-back and generous attitude.

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